Uncle buys car for 18-year-old niece after she maintains B grade average through high school, nephew protests he doesn't get the same treatment: 'He just straight up was not doing his work'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jul 15, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

In these tumultuous times, it can seem like there isn't much reason for kids to do well in school. The good jobs are hard to find, even with multiple degrees, and can't ChatGPT do all of that boring thinking stuff for us now anyway? 

That being said, there is still one incentive that remains as powerful as ever, and that is doting relatives hoping to spoil their pride and joy because of their academic success. Whether it's a new phone, a new car, or heck, even some property, a material prize gives many students more motivation than a diploma or acceptance into a particular college.

The downside of this kind of achievement-based reward is that if a kid doesn't reach the level that others are hoping for, they probably aren't going to get the rewards they were promised. It could be argued that this offers a life lesson, but not everybody sees it that way.

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  • 01

    AITA for buying my niece a car and not my nephew?

    So I (50M) have a neice and a nephew who are both 18 and just graduated. A few years ago when they were entering HS I made a deal with them, if they kept a B average their entire time in high school I would buy them any car of their choosing, within reason of course. We added a clause that they got 1 semester forgiven, so they were able to mess up one semester and I wouldn't hold it against them, I felt like 7/8 semesters with a b average was pretty fair.
    via oldman_redditTA
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10530243328
    via Martin López

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • One uncle struggled with this after he promised to buy his niece and nephew a car each if they maintained certain grades throughout high school. His niece achieved this, but his nephew didn't, which meant that only his niece got a car.

    His sister-in-law and his nephew became angry at this and claimed that he was unfairly favoring his niece. He wanted to know if he was in the wrong.

  • 03
    So my neice maintained her grades, she did mess up her sophomore year but otherwise was right on track. My nephew on the other hand pretty much never did right, we were lucky that he even passed every semester. I offered help, tutors, books, tried to make sure he was okay mentally, whatever he needed but turns out he just straight up was not doing his work. He was doing good on tests but would never do his actual work resulting in his grades being low.
    via oldman_redditTA
  • 04
    So last week was when my neice got her car, she choose a 2025 Toyota camry. My nephew kept asking when he was going to get his, and I told him he didn't stick to his end of the agreement so he did not get a car. He still got a very nice gift back at graduation. Now, him and his mom are angry with me and saying im favoring my neice and now he is refusing to speak to me or his sister. I don't think I messed up but I'm starting to worry, AITA?
    via oldman_redditTA
  • 05
    asion that the
    via Yustinus Tjiuwanda

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 06

    Commenters agreed with the uncle's judgment.

    Time-Tie-231 NTA If you had given him a car he would be learning that he will get what he wants even when he doesn't stick to the deal.
    via Time-Tie-231
  • 07
    theguineapigssong OP on behalf of the rest of society, I would like to thank you for enforcing standards with your nephew since apparently his parents will not.
    via theguineapigssong
  • 08
    sleepyHedgehog99 NTA. They both knew the deal, and your nephew chose to slack off, even after you went out of your way to support him and keep him on track. You even considered his mental health, which is more than a lot of parents (mine included) would've done when grades started slipping. You stuck to your word, and he learned a valuable lesson. It also would've been incredibly unfair to your niece if all her hard work had been undermined just to reward her brother despite his lack of effort.
    via sleepyHedgehog99
  • 09
    Brilliant Material33 NTA. Going through something similar with my own kids. I made mine "sign a contract" - obviously not legally binding, but proof that all terms were out on the table and there were no surprises. Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes.
    via Brilliant_Material33
  • 10
    Historical_Wing3120 Your gift was CONDITIONED on 7/8 semester, minimum, with a B average or higher, minimum. Barely passing is not a B. Nephew did not meet the conditions. NTA.
    via Historical_Wing3120
  • 11
    NTA Calm_Initial It's not favoritism when both are held to the same standard and one follows through and the other doesn't. He knew from the start what was expected of him to get a free car and he just didn't put in the effort. That's on him not anyone else.
    via Calm_Initial
  • 12
    Educational Taro_738 NTA he knew the terms. It would be a slap in the sisters face that she put in the work to get such a gift if you reward the other for not putting in the work. You could also set another goal for him to meet and give him a chance at redemption.
    via Educational_Taro_738
  • 13
    West-Ad-753 Exactly. This seems so minuscule now but I remember begging my parents for a phone because I was using my email to text friends for years. When they finally did it sat unopened at the dining room table because I had to "prove myself". I don't really know what that was about. Anyways exactly one month later my younger sister gets a newer phone for Christmas with no "prove yourself" period. I was like. for a little bit.
    via West-Ad-753
  • 14
    Just River 7502 NTA. You'll mess up if you change your mind because the niece stuck to the agreement. Has your nephew explained why he thinks he ought to get a car even though he didn't satisfy the agreement? If not, ask him to explain it. And keep asking "why" and other clarifying questions to allow him to get to "my actions are the direct result of why I don't have a car from uncle". If he can get there, maybe this is salvageable eg - he has to pass all semesters of college at whatever agreed
    via Just_River_7502
  • 15
    thechaoticstorm NTA You made a deal and he chose to FAFO. Academic struggles are one thing, but being irresponsible is quite another.
    via thechaoticstorm
  • 16
    boywithflippers NTA. I don't even know what the argument is here. He made a deal, broke the deal, but still wants the prize for completing the deal. And if he's not talking to his sister because HE screwed up...well...he's a little b*tch then isn't he? Dude needs to learn consequences are and it seems like he won't learn them from mom. I hope the mom isn't your sister, because I really don't wanna call your sister an idiot, but mom's an idiot.
    via boywithflippers
  • 17
    SnarkyBeanBroth "I did offer to buy him a car. He turned down my offer." Put it back on him. He had the offer for a free car, he chose not to accept the offer because it was contingent on him keeping up his grades. He had the option to do school work, and he chose not to. It's no different than if my mom offered to buy me a house, but it had to be in lowa (for example). If I don't want to move to Iowa, I don't get a house. You made both niblings the same offer - one of them accepted the terms of
    via SnarkyBeanBroth
  • 18
    professor-professor NTA Don't you dare cave! You are teaching your niblings a very important lesson on consequences and their ability to delay gratification (holding out for FOUR years is a long time for teens!)--your niece should be proud of herself. It s ks for nephew -- but this will be a core memory of how the world works. ALSO - his mom should know better and she should back you up!
    via professor-professor
  • 19
    Bluecanary1212 NTA. You made it very clear what was needed to achieve the car, you even allowed a semester screw up. Your niece put in the work, your nephew didn't. Buying a car for your nephew would not only be a bad move because it would enforce the idea that he doesn't have to work for anything because he'll always be given a pass. Trust me, my parents were like this with my brother and it did him NO favors. It would also be a real slap in the face to your niece. "You worked hard for your car
    via Bluecanary1212
  • 20
    nuwildcatfan People nowadays don't understand "conditional agreements." You put conditions on it, he didn't live up to it, just heard "I'm gonna get me a car!" ΝΤΑ
    via nuwildcatfan
  • 21
    NTA Striking-Chapter2245 He thought he would still get one. His mother is the AH for not backing you up about the agreement. S k it up buttercup and learn this valuable lesson in life.
    via Striking-Chapter2245
  • 22
    Admirable-Marsupial6 His mum is so entitled too it's unbelievable. You gave a car to one of her kids and she's throwing a fit cuz you didn't give two cars!
    via Admirable-Marsupial6
  • 23
    KitchenCauliflower25 NTA. Get the entitled one a bicycle and tell his Mom to b_t out.
    via KitchenCauliflower25
  • 24
    Famous_Specialist_44 A deals a deal, to take back is to steal. Nta
    via Famous_Specialist_44
  • 25
    CoverCharacter8179 I have to say I think the whole idea of promising kids large gifts in return for getting good grades is problematic and fraught, but NTA in this specific scenario - you were very clear about the conditions of the agreement and he didn't live up to them. And from your description, it's not as though it was due to factors out of his control - he did fine on tests but got bad grades because he wasn't doing the homework. If you're offered a reward in exchange for hard work, and yo
    via CoverCharacter8179

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car niece nephew family drama family aita siblings gift parenting grades uncle high school reddit thread Reddit
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